Secret White House Tapes Revealed!

The Wall Street Journal has just disclosed that they have received transcripts from an insider, containing the conversations of tape recordings made in the Oval Office. Here is the one from Saturday, March 2:

Kellyanne Conway (K): “Hey Donald, I have a new idea for our distraction campaign.”

President (P): “Oh yeah, what’s that?”

K: “You have that G7 stuff coming up, right?”

P: “Yeah”

K: “Well, here’s my idea: while we’re making nice with Putin and little rocket man, let’s attack our closest allies! Hurl some insults at that girlie boy Canadian … Trudeau … and maybe some of the others, like that pompous May lady from England, and the German leader too! They are sure to mention the tariffs, and then you can blast them. Take our tactics to the world stage! All the fake news will go bonkers!”

P: “I love it! Sounds good. I’ll see what I can do”.

K: “And you know that ‘endorsement agreement’ or whatever it’s called that our team is preparing for everyone to sign at the end of the meeting? Refuse to sign it! Blame whoever is complaining about the tariffs! The press will go nuts!”

P: “Sometimes I think you’re a genius, Kellyanne; I’ll do it. This will keep them talking about stuff other than all the indictments for a couple of weeks!”

K: “And then, when you meet little rocket man, give it about an hour and then walk out!” No matter what he says or does, walk out! We’ve got him by the balls… and he knows it … and we can make nice with him again in a week or two. He’ll be thrilled that he actually got you to meet with him, making him look like a real statesman instead of the little blob of a murderous dictator that he is, and he’ll come back.”

P: “I’ll have to think about that one, but right now it sounds great! OK, I gotta go and pretend I am working.”