I wrote many poems in prison, one nearly every morning when I awoke in that isolation cell  … to see if my brain was still working. Wrote a few Essays also. This is one, one from which we all could learn.  Some will, some won’t.

Personal essay – The Importance of Faith – May 2015 kra

Many of us say that we have faith, but when the chips are really down, the sky is most dark, and all seems hopeless, … I mean really hopeless … do we really? I didn’t, and it was a terrible mistake. I hope you will think about my comments here, and if you have young children, raise appropriate points with them as they are growing up.

Part of my talk about drugs, “The Dangers of Drugs – what YOU Should Know” touches on this topic, but I have decided to write this short essay solely on this subject. My hope is that it will reinforce YOUR faith.

Although I had the world’s best parent’s (by any definition), a great education, wonderful teachers and mentors, grew up in the church, was an acolyte, and thought I had faith, until age 44 nobody had ever prepared a for an unexpected calamity. I certainly never expected any super serious problem. I had been successful in everything I did, blessed with much success in business and law, and simply was not prepared when disaster struck. My parents and others had always told me to do my best, expect the best, and all that sort of thing.

Nobody warned me that some unexpected, undreamed of, very sad, negative development might come along. I’m not talking about the sudden loss of a loved one in a car accident; we all understand that this sort of thing might happen. I’m talking about situations which we never thought might happen, and when they did our first thought might have been that all is lost, that there is no hope.

I wish someone had shown me an essay or had held a conversation with me something like this: we all think that no excruciatingly sad, negative situation might pop up in our life. We don’t expect a major surprise that will truly break our heart and fill us with despair. Listen to me carefully when I tell you that such a thing might happen, and it might happen to you. This is when it is most important, vitally important, to maintain faith, to have faith that God will solve the problem, will heal the hurt, no matter how unlikely “reason” might tell you that could be. It is when we are least likely to have faith that we must have faith. For without it, we will flounder in our own human frailties, lacking the guidance that can come only from God.

My own situation was that I had a wife whom I love dearly, a baby boy whom I love even more than her, and I lost them both. Nobody to blame but myself. I learned one of life’s lessons the hard way: I was a “workamaniac” and it cost me my family. I came close to making countless millions of dollars, but it certainly wasn’t worth it. My wife filed for divorce when my baby boy was one year old, and I completely fell apart, did not handle the situation appropriately, and made the nearly deadly mistake of trying to bury the pain with drugs.

When I lost daily contact with my baby boy, I thought it was the end of the world, and, yes, I am embarrassed to say that I did not have faith that things would work out okay. I turned to cocaine to bury the pain. The short story is that after losing almost everything, I did get clean and stay clean for 17 years. I had another disaster, which, looking back on it, was another lapse of faith, and I’d be glad to relate it if asked, but I see no point in relating the details. I trust you get the point from the first example.

We must, no matter what, make Faith in Father, Son, and Holy Ghost the bedrock of our lives, a rock so hard it cannot be chiseled.
There are many Bible passages on Faith. If you don’t remember them, google some. I chose these four as reminders:

Matthew 17:20 “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. ”

Matthew 15:28 Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

2 Corinthians 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight.

1 Peter 1 5-9 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.
7 These have come so that your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,
9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Kra 5/11/15